It’s the end of another year, when we celebrate the holidays and spend time with all kinds of people. They may be family, relatives, friends, neighbors, or work associates. We may not always agree with many of them or approve of their decisions. Yet, we still need to get along — right?
But, how can we keep an open mind during this busy time of the year — not to mention during all 12 months of the year?
Real World Story: Just the other day, I became extremely frustrated by everyone that I encountered. It started when I walked into the gym. The guy in front of me did not hold the door open for me. In the elevator of an office building, a man rushed in just as the doors opened and before I had a chance to exit. Later, a young lady did not say “Thank you” when I held the door open for her.
I was utterly upset and annoyed by everyone’s lack of courtesy, lack of manners, lack of common sense. But then, I took a step back and reflected. Who exactly was impacted by the bad behavior — them or me? Me. And was this healthy or unhealthy? Unhealthy. I was obviously the one who was harboring resentment, not them. Duh!
Strategies that Turn it Around:
- Set a positive intention. Before greeting people, tell yourself they will be wonderful encounters. For example, if you are going to a gathering, tell yourself you will meet as many unique and interesting people as possible, and that you will enjoy every second of it. If you’re greeting a customer, tell yourself you will deliver the best experience EVER to that customer.
- Stay focused. When you feel yourself starting to judge someone or thinking negative thoughts, do something physical – pinch your leg – to get back into the moment. Remember strategy #1 above.
- It’s not always about you. Believe it or not, not everyone has the same “rules” as you. Not everyone knows the “please” and “thank you” rule. Not everyone will behave the way you expect. So, you have a few choices. You can communicate, compromise, or simply let it go. I bet in the majority of cases, you’ll choose the latter. If so, your physcial and mental health will thank you for it.
Remember: We have to be nice, even when we don’t want to be. And like smiling, being nice can be contagious. So, when dealing with “different” people, stay positive and fill them with kindness. Who knows, being nice may just catch on or even go viral.
What do YOU do to treat people nicely? I’m looking forward to reading your comments below.